I adore my church. It’s the first church I’ve ever really committed to, ever felt at home in. I’ve been going to this church for about a year and a half, and I’ve loved it from the very first moment I walked through the doors for the first time. Right now, though, I’m frustrated.
I emailed the lead pastor to discuss an issue — not for personal counseling, but a larger issue that he’s neglected to address repeatedly… Rape and Sexual Assault. I got a response from the associate pastor who works on his scheduling, offering me a Wednesday afternoon appointment in about three weeks.
That’s cool, I know he’s busy, I don’t mind waiting three weeks… Except, I have classes from 10-5 on Wednesdays, with a one hour break in the middle. There’s just no way I can meet on Wednesday during business hours. I shot her a quick email in return – was there any way I could meet with him on a Thursday or Friday afternoon? I’m free from noon forward on those days.
No. He only meets with people on Wednesdays. “But if at all possible see what you can do about your Wednesday class schedule one week in February.” I don’t even understand what that means. See what I can do about my Wednesday class schedule? Drop a class? Skip class? Uh. Also, she might be able to set up a meeting on one of those days with a different associate pastor.
I emailed her back, telling her to forget about the meeting. I’m not meeting with a pastor I don’t particularly know — who doesn’t do the teaching — to discuss the issue of a lack of teachings and communication about rape and sexual assault at my church. I’m not skipping a class or changing my class schedule for one meeting.
I understand the need to set boundaries for a guy as busy as my pastor. But I don’t understand when we became the kind of church that you can’t meet with the man who’s supposed to be teaching you and guiding you. I never wanted to go to that kind of church.
Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe it’s not that a big of a deal. I just know that I’ve been seeking to schedule this meeting for going on two months now, and the lack of flexibility is just… baffling to me.
I’m so frustrated with a larger number of changes at my church, but I’ve been working to deal with them, to suck it up, to be giving and not to think about what my needs in the church are… instead, to consider the larger community. But this time, my feelings are hurt and I’m angry. I think it’s the total lack of regard that *I* might need flexibility. I didn’t know that I went to the kind of church where you would have to skip class to discuss an issue.
I’m just frustrated.
(Note to those who go to my church: I’m not angry at the associate pastor… She’s just trying to do her job. I’m just frustrated with the larger situation.)
