I have this friend. Well, I guess she’s not really a friend these days.
I have this girl I went to high school with. She’s obsessed with guys. Not in a dirty way, not that she sleeps around. In a way that drives her to buy books like “He’s Just Not That Into You” and constantly have away messages that say things like, “I’m so over boys, they’re yucky.” Followed hours later by, “Why won’t he just love me?”
I have never known anyone so boy crazy. She’s nuts. It’s all she talks about, all she thinks about. It’s inane, it’s obnoxious, it’s really just… it seems like a waste of time to me. How are you supposed to find a guy who IS that into you if all you’re doing is talking about boys? Go out. Do something. Be something. Figure life out!
However, I am boy crazy, too. In a different sort of way. I don’t babble about what evils the
current Crush O’ The Moment has done to me, or lament the lack of good boys in the world. No, I just quietly long for a stable relationship. I pine for long-term comitment that involves sparkly diamond rings and regular Saturday thift store dates and the weeding of books that both of you own. (Who needs two copies of “A Rumor of War” or something similar? Seriously.)
I don’t really know what to do about this. I don’t want to date. I want to be in a Relationship. A Long-Term Relationship. (LTR, if you will.) It’s frustrating, and it makes me sad. Not in a… hang-out-in-bed-and-eat-ice-cream-all-day sort of way. More in a sigh-and-shake-my-head-when-I-think-about-it sort of way.
All I want is to get married, have a little house, buy organic vegetables, have a baby, and live happi
ly ever after. And I don’t mean happily ever after in that way that some people mean happily ever after. I mean… The kind of life where you disagree and compromise. The kind where you sit in bed on Sunday morning, and read the New York Times and the Washington Post together, passing the two back and forth, trading quips and reading aloud from time to time. The kind of life where you weather tough moments and yell and then come back and make up. The kind of life where you raise great kids and love on your neighbors and build the Kingdom of God. That kind of happily ever after. Maybe I am boy crazy. But I think I’m okay with being this kind of boy crazy.
Until then, I’ll keep vintage shopping alone, pining for the green and purple (!) bungalo
w for rent down the street, and reading parenting books. Because, one day, I’ll find him. And he won’t be Prince Charming. He’ll have warts and issues and baggage, just like I do. But, I’m optimistic that between the two of us, we can manage the baggage we both carry. I’m optimistic that there’s someone out there who’ll love me like I deserve to be loved.
But waiting’s a bitch, isn’t it?
Title comes from the following exchange in Cinderella:
Cinderella: It’s midnight.
Prince Charming: Yes, so it is.
Cinderella: Goodbye.
Prince Charming: Goodbye? But you can’t go now.
Cinderella: Oh, I must, please.
Prince Charming: But why?
Cinderella: Uh, well, uh… the Prince. I haven’t met the Prince.
Prince Charming: The Prince?… but didn’t you know…?
(Sometimes, we miss what’s right in front of our very eyes, no?)
